She Will Be Loved
by xLady-Salvatore-Belikovax
Summary: **SEQUEL to Your Guardian Angel** Must read that one to get this. -- Life's just begun to make sense again for Bella, when it all starts again. This time the issue is; Keep the baby or not? - Will Edward be there for her if she does? What about Jacob?
1. Preface

**Preface**

**Love is what everyone needs.**

**Even me.**

**What I hadn't prepared for, though, was just how much love I would actually come to feel so shortly after my prolonged depression. I was so used to living in a constant bubble only filled with anxiety and trepidation that, now, when that had suddenly changed, my life became slightly more confusing, yet much better. A hundred times better than before.**

**Anxiety turned to calm, trepidation turned to love.**

**And I was happy.**

**But then that changed, like everything else always did for me.**

**Calm turned to anxiety again, and love turned back into trepidation.**

**Can I handle that?**

- - -

Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.

Here's the preface for the anticipated sequel to _Your Guardian Angel._

_She Will Be Loved_ = Song by Maroon 5 - sort of the theme song for this.

What did you guys think of this preface?

It's my first one ever. Hehe.

I hope you will like _She Will Be Loved_ as much as you liked _Your Guardian Angel_. :D

-- First chapter will be up tomorrow, friday!

Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!! :D


	2. Bittersweet

Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.

Haha. I know I said I'd put up the first chapter tomorrow, but I just couldn't wait! Haha.

Just so you know,_ this_ starts_ right _where **Your Guardian Angel** _ends_, so they're still by the cliff. 'Kay?

Good.

..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOODLY FOLKS OF FORKS!!!

**Chapter 1: Bittersweet**

"**You must be cold," Edward murmured into my ear, as he felt my body shiver from the chill in the air. It was still raining, and so my clothes were all wet. And also, Edward was holding me tightly against his own icy, marble body - that smelled even more delicious now than ever before, and so I was pretty close to hypothermia. But I didn't care right now for I was finally content again.**

**I couldn't believe that I'd been about to actually kill myself just a few minutes ago. So much had happened in so little time that it felt like I had no control at all.**

**Before Edward I hadn't had Jacob in my life, but now I had, and I'd made him leave. I'd sworn to myself that I would not hurt him, and still I had. After all, he was still technically my boyfriend. None of us had broken up with the other, but I guess I just had, in a way.**

**Slowly I looked up, wanting to see Edward's sparkling topaz-eyes, but I was instead met with another shower of rain.**

**His hand, hesitantly, stroked my face, remembering every little surface of skin on my face. His touch was featherlight, perhaps fearing that this was just a dream. That this was not reality.**

**I feared that, too.**

**I, too, hesitantly reached up, placing my right hand on his wet cheek. It was so hard to believe that this was really happening. It was too much for me to fully comprehend.**

"**What do you say about going home?" His words brought another sense of relief, but a relief that was not right. Not now anyway.**

"**Jake.." I said again, my voice breaking. I felt a lump in my throat that ached, making it hard to both breathe and swallow.**

"**Oh." he murmured, frowning.**

**I placed my hands on either side of his face, ignoring the rain as I looked deep into his wavering eyes. How could he doubt the hold he had on me, it was stupid. If anyone should ever doubt, it should be me. But I didn't now. All I knew was that Edward was here, I was here, and Jacob was gone.**

"**I need to talk to him." I said truthfully. "I owe him an explanation."**

"**And you owe _me_ an explanation as well." He told me, but I did not understand what he meant by it. What could I possibly owe him?**

"**What? I owe _you_ an explanation? For what?"**

"**Why were you on that cliff today?" His velvet voice was strained, in pain. It tore a little on my heart, made it skip a beat.**

"**This isn't the time for that conversation." I said, turning away from him. Tears began stinging in my eyes, and I prayed for them not to spill. He'd misinterpret the action, which I had no control over either. I had no control anymore, so all I could do was pray that it wouldn't happen now. It _mustn't_ happen now.**

"**You will tell me later then?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Okay." He kissed my forehead lightly. "Well, let's start with getting out of the rain, deal?"**

"**Deal."**

**He let go of all of me, but my hand, as he escourted me over to my truck. And as we reached our destination, he let go of me, running over to the passenger's side, holding the door open for me. I climbed stiffly inside, shivering once again, but this time because of the contrast between the chill outside and the warmth of my running car. I had not shut it off when I... when I had not really been myself. I did not want to think about what _could've been_.**

**There were so many things that actually could've been, and all of them hurt;**

**I could've been dead. Edward could've been dead. Jacob could've been hurt.. and he was, because of what could've been would never be.**

**He slipped into the driver's side, turning up the heat before he made his way over to my house. It was silent the whole ride. When we got to my house, he pulled up on the driveway, and stopped the car, turning to look at me.**

"**Will you call me?" He asked, and I could hear the uncertainty in his voice again.**

_**What had I done?**_

"**I will call you as soon as I can. Alright?"**

"**Alright." He seemed so vulnerable now - not like he used to be, not like I remembered him.**

"**Don't worry." I said gently, placing my hand on his cheek again. He leaned against it, closing his eyes, relishing in my willing touch. "You got me."**

**His eyelids fluttered open, and he looked at me with such sadness, doubt and anxiety that my heart started beating irregularly.**

"**Never doubt that." I smiled carefully at him.**

"**Are you sure?"**

**It was so ironic, really. Our roles had been completely reversed by all of this. It was _he_ who felt inadequate now, like I had always felt before. Perhaps things would change for the better now between us. Perhaps we would finally be equal in everything. No more insecurities, no more boundaries even. I guess only time could tell us that.**

"**Of course I'm sure."**

"**Bella," He murmured softly. "I lo-"**

"**Shh.." I said, silencing him by placing one finger on his lips. "Not now, please."**

**I wanted it to be perfect when we would express our love again. And this wasn't perfect, because Jacob needed his explanation first. And there was something else that I needed to tell him as well, the fact that he was the father of the child that was growing inside of me. I had not told him yet, and I had to. It was my responsibility to tell him, and if we would keep it.. well, then we would raise it together. I wondered what Edward would do if we kept it. Would he stay, or would he leave? Could he handle it?**

**He pressed his lips against my finger once, with slight pressure. Then he pulled back and looked at me with pleading eyes.**

"**Don't leave, please.."**

"**Edward.. I.." How should I put this, not to disturb his piece of mind further?**

"**Please.." He took my hands in his.**

**His eyes.. everything in him just begged for me to stay. And I wanted to stay with him, for all eternity, but my responsibilities were of greater importance right now.**

"**Edward, please listen to me.." I said softly, but yet hard. He needed to understand why I was leaving now, even if it was just briefly. "Jacob's still my boyfriend, technically. I need to go talk to him. I need to go tell him why I've been acting the way I have lately. I need to.. I need to.." The tears began swimming over again, and as I blinked to try to see clearly, the burning sensation increased from the salt in them.**

"**Bella.." He said. "You don't have to go.."**

"**But that's the thing, Edward!" I cried. "I _have_ to! I owe him much more than a simple explanation, but that's all that I can give him now.." _And a baby, if he wants.._**

**I let go off his hands and reached for my phone, which was in the glovecompartment. He didn't stop me, like I thought he would. All he did was turning away, looking out of the window, as I dialed Jacob's homephone-number.**

**It took four rings before someone actually answered, and it wasn't who I wanted to talk to.**

**It was Billy.**

"**Hey, Billy," I said, starting to feel the guilt build up inside of me again. "Can I talk to Jacob, please?" I bit my lip as I waited for his answer.**

"**He's not in, Bella." I could hear by the tone in his voice that he already knew.**

"**It's important, Billy. I _need_ to talk to him. _Now._" I said urgently."Where is he?"**

"**He's at Sam's & Emily's house." He sighed.**

"**Thank you."**

"**Goodbye, Bella."**

"**Bye, Billy." I murmured, but he had already hung up on me.**

"**I think I should go now.." Edward said quietly, opening the door on his side.**

"**Wait for me in my room, okay?" I looked straight ahead, at the house, preparing myself for my talk with Jacob. There were a lot to be said after all.**

"**When will you be back?"**

"**I don't know."**

**Edward didn't say anything else - he just got out of the car and then disappeared from my view, leaving me there with tears running down my cheeks.**

OMG!! Nice cliffy or what? Haha. I think it was an ahmazing way to start up the sequel! Don't you guys agree?

Hehe.

Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!! :D


	3. The Truth

Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.

Yaysers! New chappie!! And I'd like to say THANK YOU for the ahmazing reviews so far.. you guys make me so happy! :D

'tis a long chapter, too! And.. btw, chappie 3 is soon done ;D

Now, on with the story..

...NOW YOU ENJOY YOU FREAKYTASTIC FOLKS OF FORKS!!!

**Chapter 2: The Truth**

**The ride to La Push was silent, yet loud in its own way. Silence equals emptiness, and this ride sure wasn't empty when all things were considered. The air was full of sadness, guilt, heartwrenching remorse and, even if it was singled out among the more dark and murky emotions, there was _love_.**

**Just... love. In all its ways.**

**When I was about 20 yards away, I saw Jacob coming out of Sam's house, looking over at my approaching vehicle. Surely he had heard the truck, no doubt about it. He stared at me as I exited my car, but almost immediately turned to run, making my heart ache even more.**

"**Jacob, please!" I shouted after him, tears still streaming down my face, getting mixed with other drops of water.**

**It was still raining.**

"**What do you want _now_, Bella?!" He cried, and the hurt in his voice was so thick it was almost tangible. He really looked like he didn't want to have anything to do with me now – his hair even darker than usual from the pouring rain, his eyes black, and his head hanging low. He couldn't even bear to look in my direction. I could just _hope_ that he'd hear me out because I really needed to explain myself to him.**

"**We need to talk, Jake.." I pleaded with a weak voice.**

"**Oh, I don't think we need to talk about anything, really. I think I know pretty much the whole story by now. It's not so hard to figure out." He sounded disgusted, as his gaze turned into a glare. I had really hurt him. As he once again turned to leave, desperation for him to stay made me cry the one thing I'd sworn to myself to bring up when the time was right, which wasn't exactly now.**

"**I'm _pregnant_!"**

**His whole frame froze instantly out of shock at my words. He slowly turned around, and a look of disbelief was shown on his, now, pale face.**

"**What- what did you just say?" he stammered.**

"**I'm pregnant, Jacob. And.. well.. you're the father." I said sheepishly, looking down on the ground.**

"**I'm a dad?" He snorted then, when he'd unfreezed. "Right."**

"**I've only been with _you_, Jake.." I said quietly, my head hanging low, not wanting to see the look on his face. He was probably disgusted with me already. It wasn't as if I really blamed him for feeling like that, if he even did that. If he even felt anything for me now.**

**He was quiet for a few minutes before he said; "Does _he_ know?", raising an eyebrow at me.**

"**No." I said honestly, biting my lip. I wondered how Edward would react when I _did_ tell him though. _If _I told him that is. "You're the first one I've told."**

"**How far along are you?"**

"**A couple of weeks only." I mumbled, daring a glance at him since he didn't sound angry, which definitely surprised me. And he didn't _look_ angry either, just very surprised and confused. I could understand _that_ reaction, though, seeing as we weren't very old either one of us. He was 16, and I was 18. And now he was going to be a father, possibly, and I would be a mother, possibly.**

**Surreal.**

**I'd never wanted to be one before, and now that I _was_ pregnant for real I wasn't sure if I still thought like that. It was odd knowing that something was growing _inside _of me. It was pretty freaky, really, but amazing all the same.**

"**Why are you telling me this?" Jacob asked, looking at me incredulously.**

"**Because you need to know. And we need to make a decision." I told him, shivering from the cool air all around me. It was freezing outside. Well, that was probably because I hadn't changed my clothes yet and I was practically soaking wet still. I would most definitely get a cold, but I couldn't care less right now.**

"**_'We'_ need to make a decision?" He asked, staring at me like he couldn't believe what I was saying.**

"**Yes."**

**Jacob walked up to me, and I felt myself freeze right there in the spot that I was standing in.**

"**About?"**

"**If we're going to keep it.." I said, biting my lip. "..or not."**

"**Do you want to keep it then?" He stared at me, and, well, I couldn't blame him. It really did sound like I wanted the thing that moved around inside of me now.**

"**I don't know.." I told him truthfully, looking down at my hands. "Really, I don't know what I want anymore.. Things are just so messed up.."**

"**I'll say.." he muttered so quietly I think he didn't think I had heard him.**

**But I did though.**

"**Come on.." he said suddenly, taking my hand in his. "Let's go to the beach and talk, okay?"**

**I smiled a little, nodding, as he lead the way.**

**- - -**

**About 15 minutes or so later we found ourselves sitting on that same pieced of driftwood that we'd been sitting on when he first told me about the Quileute legends. When I first found out what Edward truly was.**

**The rain had subsided by now.**

**We sat in silence at first; both of us looking at the raging ocean before us. Waves crashed hard against the cliff I'd been on just earlier today..**

_**What if he'd shown up too late..?**_

"**When did things stop being simple for us?" he asked me suddenly, breaking me away from my reverie, his eyes fixated on the stormy water ahead. **

**I didn't answer him rightaway as I didn't know what to tell him.**

"**I mean," he continued. "Things were so easy before, well, not easy, but it was much easier before anyway, you know. Remember that time, when we were in Port Angeles, watching that zombie flick with what's-his-name..?"**

"**Mike," I remembered with a weak smile.**

"**Yeah, Mike." he nodded. "See, it was easy then. Why isn't it like that between us anymore? Where did it go wrong, Bells? Because I really don't have a clue.." **

"**I don't know, Jake." I hung my head low. Shame was all that I felt. Shame because of how I'd treated him, shame because of how I had treated Edward, shame because I had really messed myself up. I was pregnant now for crying out loud! Never in a million years would that've been me – getting knocked up in my teens - if I hadn't been thrown into the eye of the storm. It'd been okay before Edward came back, things were getting better for me, I was beginning to feel happy again – because of Jacob..**

**And then things seemed to be calm enough even after Edward had returned. I could still remember that weekend in La Push and that first day of school, seeing Edward while I was together with Jake. It had felt.. okay. Bearable.**

**The eye of the storm.**

**Things were beginning to shatter again for me after that. A tornado always move from place to place, evolve, and the thing was that I didn't move - because I still had feelings for Edward. I was stuck in the same place. I felt the same way about both of them. No change, no movement in any direction.**

**And then.. I was stuck there, in the eye of the storm, where it was calm, because I didn't realize that what I was doing was wrong. So completely and utterly wrong for all of the involved.**

**I've always been too stubborn for my own good, I swear. If I hadn't been so stubborn.. then maybe I would've realized this before things really got out of hand, which they'd already done.**

**I stayed there, in the same place, while the storm moved. And that's when I was beginning to get into the real storm, coming out of the serenity within the eye. That's when things changed for me, and that's when I realized that I still had feelings for my ex-boyfriend..**

**..but it was all too late.**

"**Did you always love him?" Jacob asked, bringing me back into the present. "Because, well, it's the only thing that makes any sense to me.." he paused. "So, an explanation would be good right about now, you know.."**

"**I'm so sorry, Jake!" I cried, my eyes stinging again. "I've been such an idiot! I understand if you don't ever want to talk to me again after this. I wouldn't blame you, just you know that, okay? And I really hate myself right now! I didn't mean for this to happen! I'm so so sorry!"**

"**Spit it out, Bells." Jacob said, smiling slightly. "You're rambling.."**

**I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself.**

"**Okay. I can do this." I muttered quietly to myself, taking another deep breath, my eyes still prickling from the salt in them. "Deep breaths.."**

**Jacob tried to wait patiently, but I could tell that my silence was beginning to get to him. He was annoyed. I knew he wasn't very good at patience. It was just the way he was. But I couldn't help the fact that I couldn't get myself to open my mouth.**

"**I will take that as a yes, then." he muttered, getting up to leave.**

"**Wait!" I cried, grabbing his wrist as he stood. "Please.."**

**His dark eyes looked deeply into my pleading, brown ones, softening slightly after a few moments. Something in them made his resolve falter, making him sit down again next to me.**

"**Alright." he sighed.**

"**Yes." I began, not saying anything else at first.**

"**Go on.." he urged impatiently.**

"**Yes, I never stopped loving Edward."**

**Phew. At least that was out there now, although, he'd already guessed as much. But, it was a start anyway.**

"**Then why were you with me? It doesn't make any sense, Bella.. If you loved him, then why did you turn him down to go after me? Was it because of my abs? I got a better six-pack, right? You can tell me.."**

**Of course he'd have to joke about it, too.**

"**Stop that. I'm not in the mood." I snapped, but I couldn't hold off the faint smile on my lips. "I'm trying to explain, okay? I have to tell you.. I feel like crap because I know I hurt you. I messed all the good things up. So, don't joke, okay? I don't feel like it."**

"**Sorry, Bells.."**

"**You're forgiven."**

**He smiled, but it didn't fully reach his eyes. Smiling usually show that you're happy – and Jacob didn't look happy at all. He looked sad.**

"**Okay. Well, I didn't know I had feelings for him when I turned him down--"**

"**How could you not know if you still had feelings for him or not?! Bella, he was there, on his knees! That should've, well, ignited those happy-sparks or whatever again!"**

"**Ignite happy-sparks?" I giggled.**

"**Shut up! You know what I mean." he laughed.**

"**Hm.. well, I didn't. I just kept thinking about what he told me.."**

"**What did he tell you?" his eyes grew to be indecipherable.**

"**Before.. before, when him and I were still together. Before the summer, you know.. he said I was 'his life now'. And I kept thinking about that while he stood there, on his knees, pleading with me, practically begging me to take him back. And I just thought; '_He's still here.._', and that he lied to me. I was angry at him for lying, and I wanted him to go away."**

**None of us said anything for a few minutes then.**

**- - -**

"**I'm stupid."**

**I was the first one to break the somewhat uncomfortable silence around us.**

"**You're not stupid." Jacob muttered quietly.**

"**I am, too."**

"**_No_. You're _not_." he said firmly.**

"**I am."**

"**Not."**

"**Am."**

"**Not." he smiled.**

"**Am."**

"**Not."**

"**Okay, so let's say for argument's sake that we both agree to disagree?" I grinned a little.**

"**Sure, sure." he shook his head, a smile on his lips.**

**Silence again.**

"**Am."**

"**No-ot." he yawned.**

"**Tired?" I asked him, glancing at his, now, weary face. He looked spent.**

"**Yep."**

"**Maybe you should go get some sleep then?" I suggested, but he just shrugged, shaking his head once more, black, wet locks of hair falling into his eyes.**

"**What time is it?"**

"**4pm."**

"**You should go home, Bella.." he said, drawing a hand through his thick hair, waterdrops falling onto his shirt as a result.**

"**Why?" I raised an eyebrow.**

"**Because I'm sure your vampire is worried. And because I know you're too afraid to admit that you want to go to him now, too. So, go."**

"**Are you not mad at me?" That seemed unlikely.**

"**No." he said simply.**

"**Why not?"**

"**Because you're you. You're my best friend and I love you, Bella. Nothing's ever going to change that. Just know that, okay?"**

"**I love you, too." I said honestly in a weak voice, my eyes burning a bit again.**

"**But not in the same way." he shook his head.**

**I turned my head towards him again, and leaned in, brushing my lips against his for the last time. My hands quickly went to his hair, as his travelled down to my waist, holding me steady. Our lips moved with need.**

**After a couple of minutes we both broke off, our foreheads resting against each others, both of us panting hard.**

"**I do, too."**

**- - -**

**20 minutes later I sat in my truck, cellphone in hand, waiting for Edward to pick up. Jacob had just took off, going home to get the sleep he so desperately needed.**

"**Bella!" A relieved voice cried on the other end.**

"**Hey," I smiled. "I just called to say I'll be home in about 15 minutes."**

"**Okay."**

"**You'll be in my room then, waiting?"**

"**Only if you want me to.." he said uncertainly.**

**Had I really hurt him that badly? Did he seriously doubt the hold he had on me? It seemed impossible, but yet it wasn't.**

**And it scared me.**

"**Of course I want you to." I told him softly. "I'll be home soon. Be there."**

"**As long as you want me to."**

"**Bye." I said, longing for him already.**

"**Goodbye, Bella."**

**I was happy about going home now – something I hadn't been for a long time, knowing he would be there, waiting for me..**

**..but then why did I suddenly feel a pang in my heart when I drove away from La Push? **

Ahmazing cliffy? Hehe. I don't know. YOU TELL ME! ;D

Please spare a few seconds of your precious time to leave me a lil comment? It'd make me one happy little Lady, you know..

PLease READ & REVIEW!! Thank you!! :D


	4. Tell Me Something

Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.

Hey peeps! Here's another chapter of **She Will Be Loved**.! :D Whoop! :D

THANK YOU for the ahmazing reviews so far! Love y'all! Haha :D

Anyways..

_Song for this chapter_ = **The Last Night** by **Skillet**. (I recommend listening to it as it really fits this chapter's plot.!)

**My Immortal** by **Evanescence **works for this one, too, sort of.

...NOW ENJOY YOU AHMAZING PEOPLE!!

- - -

Bella's POV

**Chapter 3: Tell Me Something**

**I parked the truck on the driveway as I finally returned home, cutting the engine before I got out. It was around 4pm now maybe, I wasn't completely sure. My watch had stopped working so I couldn't tell what time it really was at this moment.**

**With heavy steps, completly soaked from the rain, I went up the driveway and walked over to the front door. Charlie wasn't home now, that I knew. His cruiser wasn't here yet. But he would be home soon enough anyway.**

**My head was more or less in a daze as I stopped in front of the door, and my breathing was coming out in shallow breaths. I knew what was waiting inside, and I was fearing it. Not that I was afraid of Edward though, I was merely anxious about what he'd say, what I'd say, what we'd do. He wanted to tell me that he loved me before, but I didn't want him to. It wasn't right yet.**

**But was it right _now_?**

**My hands more or less trembled as they gripped the doorhandle, and I wasn't sure if it was because of the fact that I was freezing or because I was nervous. If I'd have to guess I'd say the latter one. My nerves were definitely not in check at the moment. I could've used Jasper right about now. He could've calmed me down. But he wasn't here, and I didn't really want him here either, so I'd have to deal with this on my own anyway.**

**With a deep breath I walked into my house and took off my wet jacket and shoes. I took them up to the bathroom on the second floor and hanged the jacket up, while I put the shoes underneath the radiator, letting the warmth there work its magic on them.**

**All the while I did that I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Edward was in my room now, waiting for my arrival. Yes, I was happy because I had him back, but also terrified because I was afraid that he'd run away from me after I'd told him about me being pregnant. I couldn't bear to lose him again.**

**As I entered my room that laid in darkness, I flicked the switch on the wall on, and the lamp in the ceiling's bright light shone over the room, and my eyes were revealed to see Edward sitting on my bed, his head bowed down. But as I entered the room his head flew up and I was met by the golden eyes I'd grown so fond of. They weren't smoldering like before as they seemed particularly sad, but they still possessed that same intensity that they'd always had ever since he first came into my life.**

**I gave him a gentle smile as I came to sit next to him on my bed. "Hey," I said softly, kind of awkwardly.**

"**Hey you," he said in the most angelic of voices. He let out a breath, which sounded more like a sigh to me.**

"**I'm sorry." I murmured quite pathetically.**

"**What for?" He seemed confused.**

"**For more or less dumping you. It was a mistake." My head bowed down, too.**

**He took my hands in his and brought them up to his mouth. He kissed the back of my hands tenderly, which made me look up at him again, of course. I watched him warily as he planted soft kisses on the skin there.**

"**Edward..?"**

"**Oh." he said, his velvet voice sad again. "I'm sorry."**

**He dropped our hands lower, but still held firmly onto mine, never letting go.**

"**Don't be." I told him gently. "I just.. I don't know. Can we take things a bit slow for now? I really want slow for a while."**

**He smiled at me, and it really looked like a genuine one. But his eyes were still sad though, more or less, and I hated to see that. I didn't like the doubt that coloured them. There was nothing to doubt anymore.**

**I was his, and he was mine.**

"**May I?" he asked politely, his honey eyes boring into mine, as he slowly caressed the back of my hand with his cool thumb.**

**I nodded helplessly.**

**He took our intertwined hands up to his face, skimming the skin of my wrist with his nose, eyes closed. At first he was smiling, no doubt about the fact we were together again, but then that smile turned into a serious frown. And I was immediately alarmed.**

**His eyes opened slowly as he pulled back, staring at my wrists, concern evident in his clear topaz eyes.**

"**What is this?" he asked, pulling the sleeve on my arm up, exposing the skin there. With his enhanced eyesight there was no doubt about the fact that he could see the faded scars on my wrists, the results after many cutting incidents.**

**I bit my lip, feeling the stinging sensation in my eyes again, knowing tears would be shed soon. I couldn't answer him.**

"**What is this?" he asked again, his fingers running over the thin, white marks, before looking up at me again, with a million questions in his eyes.**

**I just couldn't answer him - the memories were too painful – so I snatched my arm back from his grip, and looked away, feeling the tears that had begun making their way down my cheeks.**

"**Bella, please, tell me why you've got scars all over your wrists!" He said urgently, his velvet voice strained with anguish. "Who did this to you?"**

**That was it. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Heavy sobs broke free, and my body shook with them, as the tears began flowing non-stop.**

**He stared at me, before he raced over to my hunched over frame, and put his arms around me.**

"**Tell me something.." he whispered into my ear softly after awhile, his hand running up and down my back in a comforting manner. His cold touch worked like a tranquilizer, and it helped me calm down a bit.**

"**What?" I managed to choke out, my voice breaking, feeling slightly wary even if I was feeling more calmed than before.**

"**Do you love me?"**

"**Edward, please.." I pleaded, not wanting to have that discussion right now, looking away. I wasn't ready yet to say those three little words. Even if it was him.**

"**When are you going to tell me what's going on then?" he said seriously, cupping his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him.**

**I didn't answer him, and kept trying to look away from him.**

**Suddenly, my phone started ringing - but he didn't take too much notice though. My hand flew into my bookbag, next to me on the bed, and started searching for it.**

**Edward sighed, and pulled away from me as I got it.**

"**Hi," I said, my voice a bit blurry because of the lump in my throat.**

"**Bella," a voice, usually chipper, said sadly. "You should tell him."**

"**I can't," I choked out, and Edward's eyebrows raised, looking at me suspiciously.**

"**Bella, if you don't tell him it's only going to be worse. Now, if you tell him, I know he'll take it better. Don't be too hard on him, please. He loves you more than you know, so just, please, tell him. Gently." Then she hung up on me, and I sat with the phone in my ear, just staring absent-mindedly into space.**

"**Who was it?" he asked.**

"**Alice." I lowered the phone slowly, and continued to stare at it, thinking about what she'd just told me. It would be better if I told him than if I didn't. But what I still couldn't figure out, though, was why he would even be with me if I told him that I was carrying Jacob's child? He hated Jacob, so that only made it worse.**

_**Should I really tell him?**_

"**What did she want?" he prompted.**

**"Edward.." I said, taking a deep breath, trying to steady myself the best I could. "I have to tell you something.."**

**"What?" He looked at me with wary eyes, and I knew I was going to crush him with these news - hurt him maybe more than I've ever done before. Perhaps even worse than when I'd practically broken up with him, when he came back, even if we hadn't been together at the time. I wasn't exactly betting on him not getting hurt at all now. That would literally be impossible.**

**He was my soulmate, I fully knew that now. I would never love anyone as much I loved him, and I was a fool for ever thinking that he wasn't, when he so clearly was.**

**Before all of this we had been perfectly equal in every aspect of a relationship there was, even if he was a vampire and I was a mere human.. but now we were off balance though.**

**And it was all because of _me_.**

**We'd been both each other's first loves, and we had both been counting on the fact that we would lose our virginities to one another. Or forever be that innocent, if I would stay human, like he wanted me to.**

**But now I wasn't a virgin anymore.**

**And he was.**

**As I said, _off balance_.**

**Because how was I supposed to tell him that Jake got that irrevocable part of me? That _he_ was the person I'd lost it to?**

**I couldn't...**

**...but I had to.**

**I would hurt him now, and I'd rather die than to hurt him ever again. He meant too much to me that I wasn't going to make it through this conversation without completely falling apart. I would expose myself so much, more than I've ever done before. I was going to tell him what a failure he had fallen in love with, and I didn't blame him if he wanted to leave me now. If I'd hurt him too much now, that he couldn't take me back fully, then I would just have to accept that - even if it felt impossible.** **Even if it felt as if I would die if he did.**

**He looked at my face as if he was searching for any hints of what I was going to tell him. But I was sure he didn't expect to hear this. I wouldn't have if I were him.**

**I didn't say anything, and I knew I was making him frustrated and anxious, and he had every right to be considering what I was going to say any minute now.**

"**Bella.." he pleaded with me. "Tell me.. please.. before I lose my mind."**

**I turned my head slightly and looked into his sad, honey eyes, and I could feel tears running down my cheeks already as they reached my chin.** **His hand flew up without a hint of hesitation and wiped them away hastily, still looking like he wanted to cry with me as well.**

"**I can't.." I sobbed.**

"**What can't you do?" Edward asked softly.**

"**I can't tell you.."**

**More tears came.**

"**Why not?"**

"**Because I don't want to hurt you.." I tried to swallow, but there was that lump there that made it difficult to even breathe properly. It felt like I was near hysterics at the moment.** **Like I said, I was going to fall apart before this conversation was even over.**

"**Just tell me, love.."**

**Okay, that was it. I can't let him call me that when he doesn't even know what a rotten person I really was. I was a real tramp.**

"**Okay, just stop. Please. I can't take this anymore!" I cried, standing up immediately, turning around and looking at him with mournful eyes that were clouded with tears. "I'm _pregnant_, okay? I'm fucking pregnant!"**

**And then I stormed out of my room, and ran off to the bathroom. I slammed the door so hard behind me that I literally thought it'd break off from its hinges, and then I sunk down on the floor by the door, pulling my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs while I cried my heart out, my body shaking violently from the heavy sobs.** **I waited and waited there on the floor for Edward to come and tell me he didn't care that I'd messed up, that he didn't care that I was pregnant, that he still loved me as much as before..**

**But he never did.**

**He never came.**

Cliffy? HECK YES!! Haha :D

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**_Next chapter = Edward's POV of this chapter_**

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